Here we are with the next bit to release…
This one stems from good ol’ Valentine’s Day. Basically Old Faithful for pain.
Valentine’s is one of those days that makes you think about what has happened on all the previous ones, or at least that’s what happens for me. I’ve been hurt on more Valentine’s Days than not. I’m half terrified of the day each year.
Let’s start small. A high school boyfriend avoided me on VD and then called me from Ruby’s Diner that night and invited me to Ruby’s all in the same breath as when he said that I couldn’t possibly make it there in time to order and eat before his mom would pick him up… Lame.
One guy I dated took me to see “He’s Just Not That Into You” and then we sat in his car for over an hour after just listening to Dane Cook. He just turned up the volume or didn’t respond when I’d try to talk. I left the next morning for a week to NY and there was no “I miss you” or anything. That blew.
One year, a boyfriend broke up with me on VD saying that he’d “rather smoke weed than be with [me]”. Now, I had no problems with him smoking weed, but he had told me that he wanted to quit smoking and then would lie and sneak behind my back. All I ever wanted was honesty. He’s also one that used to ridicule my short hair after he dumped me so there’s not much lost in that relationship, but that experience on VD sucked.
My favorite. While my ex was in London, his boss snap-chatted (to a LOT of people, trust me) himself saying to my ex “don’t worry, bud. There are plenty of fish in the sea”. I think he thought that would be funny or something, but it was embarrassing having it brought to my attention by a friend of mine. The most amazing part is that I wasn’t able to talk to him much while he was away and when he came back, he broke up with me. I was humiliated.
So, each year is a day of reflection. Reflection of shit that hurt. I hate it and on top of those memories, all I want is some good experiences to put in place of them. I’d like to be made to feel special. I’d like to be doted on. I’d like some flowers. When I’m with someone, I give everything all the time and I would just like one day where I get all the love and attention.
Universe, I hope you’re listening!